“We Dig Up the Past, So You Don’t Have To” — A Scandalous Sit-Down with Heinous History Podcast Hosts Dot Matrix and Al Gorithm
By: The Temporal Times Blog Team
If you’ve ever found yourself shouting “Wait, WHAT?!” at a history podcast, chances are you’ve stumbled upon the Heinous History Podcast—the show where bizarre true events meet razor-sharp wit and unexpectedly dazzling dental hygiene.
We caught up with the Heinous History Podcast duo, Dot Matrix and Al Gorithm, between episodes to talk dead pirates, poisonous petticoats, and why the past is basically one long disaster… in fabulous clothing.
🕵️♀️ Temporal Times: Dot, Al, thanks for taking time out of your timeline. What inspired you to start Heinous History?
Dot Matrix:
Honestly? A deeply rooted need to expose humanity’s most ridiculous decisions while looking fabulous doing it. That and I love a scandal with historical citations.
Al Gorithm:
Also, we noticed there wasn’t a podcast where someone calmly explains 18th-century naval strategy while someone else makes flirtatious eye contact with the microphone. We saw a gap in the market.
📻 TT: Your chemistry is incredible. How do you balance Dot’s dramatic flair with Al’s… let’s call it “precision”?
Al:
Dot says “drama.” I say “accuracy.” The balance lies in me trying to get through the bullet points before she turns everything into a Shakespearean monologue.
Dot:
Guilty! But come on, if you’re going to talk about arsenic dresses and dancing plagues, you have to serve a little theatre. History is not a spreadsheet, darling—it’s a scandalous group chat with consequences.
⚔️ TT: Favorite historical catastrophe so far?
Dot:
Oooh, tough one. The Great Molasses Flood is close to my heart. Literal sticky drama. But I also love Black Bart—fashionable, ruthless, Welsh-speaking pirate king? Be still my fake beating heart.
Al:
For me, it’s the Dancing Plague of 1518. A tragic, unexplained phenomenon with possible links to ergot poisoning and mass hysteria. It’s where medical history, psychology, and chaos converge—my sweet spot.
🧪 TT: What’s your research process like?
Al:Painstaking. I dig through primary sources, academic papers, municipal records, and verify every fact like it’s under oath.
Dot:
And then I take Al’s 30-page dossier and reduce it to “People DIED because they wanted to wear green dresses and look hot.” We call it balance.
🧑🎤 TT: You both look like you walked out of an infomercial for laser teeth whitening. Be honest—who takes longer in hair and makeup?
Dot:
Me, obviously. But Al uses more product than a Victorian perfumery.
Al:
She’s not wrong. Presentation matters. History is ugly, but we don’t have to be.
🧠 TT: What’s the one historical fact that blew your minds?
Al:
That British intelligence couldn’t crack Welsh during Black Bart’s pirate reign. They literally lost to a language.
Dot:
That Victorian society knowingly wore toxic clothing for decades and still thought fainting couches were just fashionable decor. Darling, they were dying on brand.
🔮 TT: Final question—what’s next for Heinous History?
Dot:
More disasters! More drama! Maybe a live show where I wear a historically accurate poison dress while Al talks about sanitation reform in 19th-century London. A girl can dream.
Al:
We’re diving into historical frauds, duels gone wrong, and possibly a two-parter on cursed royal objects. You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll say “How was this real?”
📝 TT: Any advice for aspiring historical sleuths?
Al:
Question everything. Especially stories that sound too neat or heroic. Real history is messy, contradictory, and weird.
Dot:
And always wear gloves when handling history. Metaphorically. But also literally, in case it’s arsenic.
Catch Dot Matrix and Al Gorithm on the Heinous History Podcast every week on YouTube. Just remember: those who forget the past are doomed to be roasted by it on air.